My grief is like a heavy winter coat

I wear it always 

For it is all I know

Grief’s thick layers are like that of heavy snow

 

I have found comfort in its forceful folds

And solace in its suppressing stitches

Its darkness masks the pain of remembrance

I am free to forget

 

Spring begs me to shed my winter coat

Sunshine warms my back

as grass awakens beneath my feet

But my hands grip the familiar folds and strong stitches of my winter coat

 

Looking into the mirror,

My winter coat reflects my grief -

heavy, forceful, suppressing, dark

But I cling tighter to this twisted comfort 

 

My winter coat allows me to feel something,

unlike grief that makes me feel numb like frostbit fingers

I wrap myself in the melancholy warmth of my winter coat 

But I don’t let its heat melt my icy heart

 

My grief has turned me bitter like that of a wicked winter day

My natural sweetness remains frozen in the sea of my grief

Bitterness courses through me like winter winds through bare trees

But I am sheltered from sweetness in my sturdy winter coat 

 

I am caught in an unforgiving blizzard with my grief

With no visibility, I become lost to confusion, depression, and many fears 

I don’t want to live in the winter of my grief forever,

But I can’t take off my winter coat

 

Spring does not let grief keep its arrival

Light rain washes over me with gentleness

as hope softly surrounds me like growing grass

I want to remember Sarah, my sister who died

 

Grief turns to healing like a new season

I begin feeling my fingers again

as my sweetness melts back into me

I have lived in winter for so long

​

Hope and healing remind me,

Nothing can take away my love for Sarah and her love for me

I can take off my winter coat now

But I can’t get toss it away

 

My winter coat is the fabric of my grief with its

layers of love,

folds of familiarity,

material of memory

 

At last, I hang my winter coat

to become dormant like the winter season

I know I’ll wear it again

But, for now, I have changed into my spring jacket